I have found I am better at socializing in very small groups. Being in a situation where there are lots of people who I don’t know it is kind of intimidating. There are some situations where I don’t feel like I belong in the room of people I am in. Maybe its a self esteem thing or perhaps I am quirky and nerdy and not everyone universally understands that world. As a grown up I need to be able to navigate the social waters wherever I am but it really is hard to be genuine and to be yourself when you are in a situation where you feel as if you are an outcast. Maybe I am overthinking this or maybe I am not.

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Tony "T-Bird" Burgess

Hi there, my name is Tony Burgess from Chattanooga, Tennessee, USA. I am a believer, bleeding-heart, idealist and blogger. I'm married to Laura and Cody is our dog. Daily I work for a blood bank. My blog is where I chronicle and curate the sacred, serious and silly things in my life. I am a member of The Episcopal Church. Thank you for connecting with me. Grace, peace, and love!

4 thoughts on “Social”

  1. Tony, you are not alone. I hate large groups and on my really bad days I avoid going out in public in case I get hemmed in by a crowd of people. I think everyone has times when they avoid public gatherings because they don’t (or feel they won’t) know many people there. On the odd time I have been forced to attend a party as a plus-one I have found a quiet corner and stayed there, often alone, to avoid being dragged into conversations.

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  2. I think it’s a confidence thing, it’s easy to doubt yourself and think everyones judging you, but you need to rise above it and concentrate on how utterly amazing you are. 🙂


  3. I do the same thing. I learned to just smile and say hello to some folks, participate in the eating/drinking a tiny bit, and leave as soon as I have accomplished those. Everyone has their strengths…


  4. You may just be a natural introvert who doesn’t require large parties to get a healthy level of social interaction. The fact that Americans are more likely to be extroverts–and to reward extroverted behavior–doesn’t make your impulses wrong.

    If you are happy and develop solid friendships that nurture your soul, you needn’t worry about disliking large group situations. Just avoid a career in party planning or its like. 😉 Host small parties you CAN enjoy; prioritize accepting invitations that suit your temperament.

    If, however, you feel like this issue is preventing you from fully enjoying your own life, it may be worth exploring this with someone like a therapist. If attending a loved one’s wedding or Golden Anniversary would be torture as opposed to just “not the most fun you can imagine”, that might be a sign of real social anxiety or mental health out of balance.

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