Physically I am like a teddy bear. You could say fluffy and pudgy. Intellectually, I hope people would think I know stuff but not in an arrogant way. Spiritually I am a person in tune with my creator and all that. Emotionally I am stable with a little looney thrown in. I tend to be quieter than in years past, but I let my freak flag fly when appropriate. My personality is one of weirdness and I am an oddball. Very much a black sheep. Mentally I am the place where I think I can deal with stuff that comes my way. I am kind, compassionate, and sensitive too. People I think aren’t so sure about me. Strange, right?
I am a people pleaser which means I am hard-wired to please people sometimes at the expense of me. With that comes some imposter syndrome; if I don’t please others, they won’t like me. Thanks to my Missus who referred me to a training from work. Also, it comes with some self-esteem issues that I have had my whole life. Sometimes I don’t feel like I belong and find myself struggling to fit in. The whole imposter thing is a recent revelation and some attributes I can understand.
I am kind, courteous, and helpful but do people see that and think I am being fake or insincere by trying to please?
Life is a struggle, and adding other stuff makes it even harder. Do you feel the same way?
I know I am a weirdo. I am divergent in how I see the world around me. To be honest it can be a little lonely. I am made differently and I thank God for it. It doesn’t stop me from being in the community and doing my daily work. It’s just something that I live with. Some people look at me and probably wonder what in the world he is talking about. My heart and head can be interesting places to encounter. I suppose the way I learn and understand stuff in life makes me look at things from a unique perspective. I am grateful to those who put up with me for all my faults and quirks. I am who I am and that is all I can say.
In my life I’m not a leading man type. I am more of a weird friend who knows loads of trivial stuff. I tend to go down the road less traveled and I embrace the quirky stuff life has to offer. I’m the guy who wears his heart on my sleeve and I have a bleeding heart too. Often I let my geekiness and nerdiness get the best of me and that gets me in a little trouble. I guess this is who I am. I hope it’s OK.
I let my passions get the best of me and sometimes I say things that can come across as judgy or rude. My friends its another way that I am not perfect and never will be. Thanks for continuing to like me. Forgive me, Lord hear my prayer.
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