Call me old fashioned and there are a few things that I am old school about but I believe in respecting ones elders. There are a lot of people who have way more wisdom and life experience than I do so perhaps I can learn something from them. I revere my parents and grandparents however I can still be my own person. In scripture there is a verse that says honor thy father and mother and you do that by being the best you can be as they taught you. Granted you will never agree with them 100% but that is OK. You had different life experiences and your opinions and world view are different which is to be expected.
I do realize there are many who don’t have a positive relationship with their families but there are plenty of older folks in the community who can be a positive influence. Perhaps we can benefit from the experiences of those folks so we won’t make the same mistakes they made. I am 46 years old and I still don’t know it all. Believe me folks I wish I were more like my mom and dad in many ways but I am who I am and that the way God made me.
To some folks I am an elder but that sounds weird. I would rather not be an elder but a friend who has a few more years in me. Perhaps that is the way future older-younger relationships will work.
Wisdom of the ages and youth shall be served, or something like that.
Sometimes when a friend or acquaintance does not respond to your efforts to reach out and communicate it makes you wonder if it was something you did or said to offend. I am a natural born worrier so I am concerned if I screwed up or something along the way. Maybe it’s paranoia or perhaps there is something to it. I can get a little too enthusiastic about my friendships so that can rub some the wrong way. However it takes two to tango as they say. Was it me, or no? It’s all crazy ya know.
It’s OK for friends to have a difference of opinion. No two people are alike. Opinions can bring people together or fracture friendships. I do worry about what people think…maybe its a little self esteem thing or perhaps a little fear of someone not liking me anymore. Even the best of friends can disagree. Sometimes it’s good not to overthink it and not make it an issue.
I can let my extroverted, overly friendly self get the best of me. Sometimes I feel like I am a bother but know I want to respect everyone. Perhaps we need more of this in the world, but would people be able to handle that much friendliness?
I read about a lot of people who cut people out of their lives. Ending relationships and friendships is not an easy decision to make. For a long time I did that with one person I had a spiritual and historical connection with. Some folks change so radically and its not always in ones best interest to keep them around in your lives.
Dysfunctional relationships are painful and often times you have to end them. I really try to offer grace and patience in all the relationships I have with people but I have my limits. Relating to people means having some humility and finding out more about who they are. We live in a time of where personal issues or “drama” as we like to call it can be so magnified on social media and through technology that we make snap judgements about things. I am guilty of that as well as everyone else.
My hope is to keep as many friends as I can, do my best to be there for them and not worry about not being liked by everyone I know. The key thing is to be myself and to be the best person I can be. Sometimes quality friendships are more important than how many friends you have.
In the effort of being nice have you ever said something that might have been taken the wrong way? I sure have, probably a result from overthinking it and being overzealous. Not everyone comes from the same place and that can cause some communication issues. Our cultural and our language make up who we are as people and when you come from different places it can be challenging to be understood. People have the best intentions but can do things that make folks uncomfortable or perhaps put off.
Being gracious, understanding, slow to anger and having some empathy as well as sympathy are great things to have for every occasion.
Figuring people out without being judgmental is difficult but sometimes first impressions is all you have to go on. So how you relate to people initially can be a real challenge. Offending people by some poorly chosen words can be very harmful. Every experience with meeting new people can be a learning opportunity and hopefully you can have a shot at making new friends.
I think being friendly sometimes means making a fool of yourself. It is that experience that can make our lives more interesting don’t you think?
The Tony Burgess Blog 